


Hug it Out

by Niki



Category: The Pretender (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hugs, Jarod may or may not be a disney princess, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-sexual cuddling, Teaching Doesn't Always Take Place in a Classroom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 05:26:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13047414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niki/pseuds/Niki
Summary: No one uses the wordtouch-starvedbut that's what they are, and this is how they deal with it.





	Hug it Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cyren2132](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyren2132/gifts).



> I kind of tried to combine both of your prompts, even if one of them only nominally. I just wanted Jarod to get all the hugs ever. I needed to create some OCs for it, I hope you don't mind. 
> 
> I love the Pretender (also loved the first seasons more than the ambitious larger story arc they got too committed to towards the end) so I hope I managed to capture something about the show you can connect with!
> 
>  ~~I may or may also have got a bit ambitious towards the end and decided to expand this five hours before the reveal when my beta had no chance of reading it on time, so apologies for any typos and continuity mistakes! I promise to iron them out after the fact when she wakes up...~~ Now with slightly less typos! Thanks, N!

_Everyone needs a vacation every now and then_ isn't something that should have taken him this many years to learn, Jarod mused, leaning back in his chair with an easy smile. The smile grew as he surveyed his charges writing on their exam papers with gratifying expressions of concentration and admitted that this was probably not anyone else's idea of a vacation. 

But he had been mentally exhausted over a long pretend that had ended just as the trio from the Centre had caught up with him and for just a second he had considered stopping. He didn't even know what he'd thought of doing – stopping to run, allowing them to catch him, to make the uncertainty end; stopping to try to find his family, and just fly to some remote location on the planet and changing his name and disappearing for good. Stopping to help (and avenge) the weak and the abused and just living for himself. 

In the end, he did none of these, as there wasn't a cell in his body that would ever consent to going back to the Centre, and helping people _was_ living for himself and doing what he wanted to do. But maybe something... less dramatic, for a while. 

And that's how he ended up committing to substitute as a teacher in a boarding school for one whole term. No side quests, no midnight phone calls, no follow ups on any leads. Just moulding the young minds in his care, encouraging the thirst for learning so many lost when growing up, guiding and protecting them, much better than he himself had been. 

He was welcomed warmly enough in the teacher's room, and soon grew popular for his ability and willingness to lend a hand when needed – what ever was needed. Historical references? He was your man. A practical demonstration? He probably read a book on it. Taking over the art class with an hour's notice? Totally doable. 

There was one teacher, a woman about his own age, that worried him. She was dark and beautiful, and she looked at him with a considering look sometimes. He didn't know which worried him more – that she was suspicious of him, or that she was interested in him. She was nice, and kind, but Jarod wasn't in a place to be interested in anyone, and it worried him. 

His kids finished their exams and he sent them off with a smile and a few encouraging words. This was their last class for the day, as it was his, so he didn't rush when collecting his things and setting the room to rights before exiting himself. 

Gina Townell was waiting for him outside the class room.

“Ms Townell,” he said, politely.

”Gina,” she corrected, laughing. ”No kids around to hear.”

”Gina,” he said, nodding. ”What can I do for you?”

”Well... there's something I've been meaning to ask you... I don't want you to take this the wrong way.”

“Go on,” Jarod said, deciding to keep an open mind.

”You were home schooled, weren't you?”

That was the last thing Jarod was expecting and he turned to look at Gina sharply.

”Just something I recognised about you, that's all,” Gina explained, obviously noticing his unease.

”Yes.”

”But not by your parents,” she said, and it was a statement, not a question. ”A grandparent, or another older relative. Someone who cared maybe, but wasn't very good at showing it.”

Close enough, Jarod thought, thinking about Sydney with the usual contradictory emotions. Sydney was the only experience of adult caring he could remember, and there had to be a level of Stockholm Syndrome in it, or something like it, as Sydney had been a jailer as much as a guardian, someone happy to make him work for the Centre and his own research from the time he was four. 

Still. Sydney was the closest thing to a parent he'd had, and he had been... kind. Still was.

So he just nodded, waiting for Gina to have a point.

”So I was thinking... we have this thing. That maybe you would like to... You're nice, and we all like you, so...” She had obvious trouble getting the words out, like she was... embarrassed, almost, and Jarod feared he would be shocked by what came out next.

”We're having a movie night in one of the common rooms. Would you like to join us?”

Jarod stared at her, blinking a few times. That... had not been what he was preparing to hear.

”Of course?”

”Great! Go change into something more comfortable, and then join us. I'll explain the rest there.”

She smiled with relief and hurried away, and Jarod was left staring after her, bemused but intrigued. If he was not to be invited to join her alone, it couldn't be a sex thing, right?

*

”Jarod! Welcome! I'm glad Gina could talk you into joining us,” Gary Morgan, the modern history teacher said from where he was sitting on the sofa. 

Helen Stanton was fiddling with the TV set, and Gina was just entering behind him with a bowl of popcorn. 

”I didn't tell him everything yet, though,” Gina admitted. ”He might still change his mind.”

”Everything about what?” Jarod asked, wanting to get this over with. He had a very low tolerance for secrets these days.

”Well,” started Gary, and now it was his turn to look unsure. ”As we're all people without partners... we have this, uhh, tradition of...”

”Oh for heaven's sake,” Helen said, standing up form where she had been crouched by the TV. ”You're making this sound like a sex club. We cuddle, all right? Everyone needs physical closeness, and we have no one at home to cuddle up to, so we do it together. It's nothing to be embarrassed about.”

”I'm not embarrassed!” Gary insisted. ”It's just... hard to talk about.”

”Look,” Gina said, noticing Jarod's surprise. ”There can be as little or as much contact as you want to. Just see what you're comfortable with. And anytime you want to stop, or are not comfortable with something, just say, okay? Or leave, which ever you need to do, we'll understand. It can be weird at first, if you're not used to physical closeness, and... I don't think you are.”

Jarod shook his head slowly. Did it show that clearly?

”Now you're making it sound like a sex club!” Gary accused, but he was smiling, so Jarod didn't think he was serious.

”Come on, sit down. I swear there is no biting whatsoever,” Helen promised, and offered her hand to Jarod. 

He took it after a second's hesitation and followed her to the sofa. 

”Is this okay?” Helen asked, still holding on to his hand even after they'd sat down.

Jarod nodded, at a loss for words. 

”I was raised by my father,” Gary suddenly said from her other side. ”He loved me, sure, but... he wasn't big on demonstrating that. I had never been hugged by anyone I wasn't sleeping with by the time I started here.”

Gina sat on Jarod's other side, tucked her feet under her, and leaned towards Jarod who found himself turning just slightly so that she could lean on him properly.

”I thought it was a come on and first,” Gary admitted. ”But these ladies give the best hugs.”

”Aww, Gar, you give the best hugs.”

”I've had practice now. I didn't realise how important it was. I'm a better person for it, and that's no lie. I have more patience with the little devils now that I can have this after.”

He moved closer, and wrapped his arm around Helen, who turned to cuddle up to his side. 

”I wasn't sure about adding him at first,” Helen admitted. ”I don't... have the best experiences about being touched by men.”

Gary moved his arm until his hand was petting her hair, and she rested her head against his shoulder for just a moment, and one could almost see the comfort she was drawing from that undemanding presence, and suddenly Jarod realised he wanted the same, wanted it desperately, and his grip on Helen's hand was tightening to a degree that had to be painful, but she just squeezed back.

“We don't expect you to be totally comfortable with us from the start,” Gina said.

”Just know we are here for you if you want... well, this,” Helen offered. 

”Troy and Rebecca are also a part of it, but Rebecca is obviously not here...” She was the teacher Jarod was substituting. ”And Troy is never here when we watch cartoons because he is uncivilised and rude.” The last was said with a grin, so it was obviously just a long running joke.

”We're watching cartoons?” Jarod asked, the first thing that felt like something he could grasp.

”Disney. Little Mermaid, to be precise,” Helen declared in a tone that was meant to shut down any criticism. 

”I've never seen it,” Jarod admitted.

”Then you're in for a treat! Are you okay with this?” Helen asked, indicating their respective positions with their still entwined hands. 

”I don't know,” Jarod admitted. He had no frame of reference for this. He had been hugged by people, true, in gratitude or friendship, but this was... this prolonged contact was weird. 

”Do you want a suggestion?” Gina asked.

”Try this,” Gary said, demostrating with Helen. He raised his arm so that Helen could snuggle under it, leaning against his chest, and his hand touched Jarod's shoulder on the other side. 

Jarod looked at Gina, who smiled. He let go of her hand, and let her arrange herself under his arm, the way Helen was doing on their other side. It was... nice. A warm presence next to him, radiating heat and comfort. He suddenly realised he didn't fear any of them, or their touch, or them getting too close, physically or metaphorically. 

He wasn't investigating anything, none of them were suspects. They were all professionals he admired, got along with, shared jokes in the dining room with, traded favours with. This was just... another thing they could share. 

”What is Disney?” he asked.

*

Jarod loved the movie, and was self-aware enough to admit that he identified with Ariel to a perhaps surprising degree. Her fascination with things from the human world from which she was always removed from, her attempts to fit in, even her willingness to sacrifice to get it... It all rang too true to him, even though the willingness to let go of family and home to chase after a love was harder for him to understand, if he framed it as trying to connect with a world she had always been sheltered from, even that was familiar.

They had shifted during the film, Helen almost lying on Gary's lap, her legs on Jarod's, with Gina's hands resting on her ankles. Gary's warm hand was cupped around Jarod's neck, and Gina was still snuggled under his arm, face resting against his shoulder. 

It was... it was nice. The restlessness Jarod had expected never arrived, and he felt... safe.

”Oh well, time for all the good little teachers to go to bed,” Helen said, with audible reluctance. 

”Let's do this in my room on Friday,” Gina suggested. ”Cuddle pile on the bed. I think Jarod is ready for it.”

Even if he wasn't, he was ready to try.

”Thank you,” he said, as they were all getting up.

”No, thank you,” Gina said, smiling, and hugged him.

Helen and Gary hugged him too, and this was easier now, almost natural.

”Remember,” Gary said, ”This is nothing to be embarrassed about, not needing it, not doing it. I was... it was hard for me at the start, because of my upbringing I was told to view things like this as wrong, soft... gay. Not something real men's men needed or wanted. I don't want you to need to go through the same, so I suggest we do this again tomorrow evening, so that he won't have time to overthink it.”

”Sounds like a plan!” Gina agreed.

”Can we watch more Disney?” Jarod asked eagerly.

*

This time all three greeted Jarod with hugs. Troy was also present, so Jarod figured they were not in fact going to watch more cartoons. 

”Hey,” Troy said. ”You okay with this?” He was obviously offering a hug, and Jarod accepted with a smile. 

Troy smiled at him when they parted. ”Welcome abroad.”

This time the cuddle pile was less organised.

*

It wasn't every night, but it was more than once a week. And they didn't just watch movies (even thought Jarod wanted to see all the Disney films ever but the others restrained him, and... that was okay too) or TV shows, they talked, about anything and everything. 

Once a movie they were watching had a sudden scene of abuse they had not been expecting and it triggered something in Helen, and she couldn't finish watching... but she told them about it, instead of hiding inside herself, and they all held her while she talked, and afterwards, they all spent the night in the common room, cuddled around her. Even Jarod. And he was able to sleep like that, and wake like that, without it making him want to run.

Maybe... maybe he could talk to them too. Of his nightmares, his traumas. And maybe they wouldn't sell her to the Centre but hold him when he felt cold and alone.

*

Christmas was approaching, and staying true to the five dollar limit they had set for all the presents for each other, Jarod got them all festive pez dispensers. Not just because he loved them himself, but hoping to share at least some of himself, even if he couldn't tell them about his past, couldn't risk their lives with his secrets. 

But before he could give them out another tradition threatened to spoil everything. 

The school always shared pictures of the semester on their web pages, among them individual head shots of all the teachers. When Jarod heard about it, he started doing the risk analysis in his head. How fast would he need to leave after the pictures went live? He knew Broots had programs tracking all internet activity that might connect to him. Image search software wasn't sophisticated enough to do everything yet but with a connection of his name...

It would only be a matter of time until a sweeper team swept in and he would have to be gone before that. But it actively hurt him to think of leaving the friendships he'd forged here, especially like this, leaving his work unfinished, abandoning all his kids. 

But when Gina asked him what was wrong, instead of pretending he was okay, he suddenly realised... he wasn't alone. He wasn't alone in this, either. These were people who held a crying woman all night so that she didn't need to stay alone with her nightmares. These were the people who patiently explained Hollywood accounting and studio systems to him. These were the people who didn't make fun of a grown man carrying around a Mr Potato Head toy. 

”The photos...” he said. 

”Aww, you'll look great!”

”No, I... my past... I can't have my photo out, they cannot find out where I am!” He let the panic colour his voice, sharing the terror mere idea of the Centre created, the idea of losing this, her, them, all his kids, some whom he'd been tutoring specially.

”No need to say more,” Gina said, looking determined. ”Don't worry.”

And she stalked off with such look of fierce protectiveness that Jarod hugged her extra long that night. He never heard anyone say anything to him about the photos again, and somehow, during the official Christmas party, there seemed to be someone shielding him every time a camera popped up anywhere near him. Whether it was Gary hamming it up to draw the attention to him, or Gina draping herself over him so that his face was covered, or Troy snagging the camera to take a photo of the photographer, or Helen just glaring at them until they moved along... They kept him covered, and protected, for the whole evening. Yet they did it in a way no one could suspect they were all working together.

Jarod hugged them all extra long that night, and they all got it.

”You never, ever need to tell us anything you're not comfortable with sharing,” Helen promised. ”But if you ever feel like talking, we're here.”

”Anytime,” Gary said.

”With whatever you need,” Gina promised. ”A hankie, a rifle, a bottle of whiskey, Little Mermaid for the fifth time...”

”I don't deserve you,” Jarod got out, fighting to keep from shaking. 

As one the others crowded him where he was still standing in Helen's arms, until they were one huge pile of hugging. 

”Of course you do,” Gina said softly, but the words were almost superfluous as their open arms had said the same time and a time again. ”Of course you do.”

*

”Rebecca has decided she'd rather stay home with the baby,” Gina said in lieu of a greeting one evening as she walked into the common room. ”They're going to offer you another year,” she told Jarod.

He smiled. 

 

The End


End file.
